Profiles

PROFILES

So as usual I’ve broken another promise. It was a long wait for the final profile on the women in the cast, but here it is. So lets take a look now at our musical director.

REAL NAME: Katy Marquardt
ALIAS: Crazy 88
ALIAS I WISH SHE HAD: Quirky smirk
PLACE OF BIRTH: Indiana, same town as where Orville Reddenbocker came from. Suck on that bitches!
KNOWN ASSOCIATES: A grandma (that took her on cruises), a Mom (who taught her to play piano), a sister ( who we might have offended) her sisters boyfriend (who even though we might have offended the sister, he thought we were funny) a ton of crew on the ship who she never gets to see because of our changed status. I believe she has a Dad but I’m not sure because I keep interrupting or talking over her.
AGE: 26
Height: Is adorable a height?
WEIGHT: She brings weight to every scene with her music.
FIRST APPEARANCE: SC 6: BLACK OPS COMMANDOS #1

ORIGIN: Originally from Indiana, Katy relocated to Chicago for music and acting. She wrote original music for suck sketch reviews as Home is Where the Hurt is and Grandma June’s Perfect Isolation and performed in film theater and even a digital comic book. She recently wrote and directed her own TV pilot. She is excited to be Music Director for THE BEST OF SECOND CITY! She thanks her Mom for teacher her to play piano and her family and friends for their support!

POWERS/ABILITIES:

Katy is in charge of all the music for our shows. She is a level nine pianist, and a level ten selector of song. With training her improv musical prowess will surely reach cosmic proportions. (See: Galactus does Grand Funk Railroad for example of cosmic level musically prowess)

She is a level nine out of ten singer. While her voice is great I only give a ten to my wife. I think Katy understands.

She is a level 185 at the game 185, and her ability in the irish drinking song is so great Great Britain fears it, as it might rally Ireland against them.

Katy is a class eight technology expert meaning she reads wired magazine and plays video games. She has one of those dancing pad things back home.

She has the uncanny ability to replicate the soundtrack of your life. Didn’t know REO Speedwagon was part of your life soundtrack? Guess what, Katy did.

She has a level 20 shock factor that is rarely used as it is so devastating. Her pantomime of lewd act can bring you to the ground faster than a gunshot.

WEAPONS/PARAPHENALIA

The quirky smirk/shrug is used to great affect and will disarm most opponents.

The keyboard, a gift from the angel Gabriel after Katy beat him in Dance Dance Revolution is imbued with mystical properties. It can create black outs, transitions, and to force Peter to sing as Arnold Schwarzenneger.

WEAKNESSES

Mentioning awesome cabooses. It really creeps her out.

Towel animals.


FINAL THOUGHTS

Of the cast she has been here the longest, she is finishing a nine month tour. Which would give her more than right to be surly and standoffish. Instead she is one of the warmest and most sincere people I have ever met.

She has had the patience of a saint with me since I have this weird knack of interrupting her or talking over her.

When I’ve needed help she is usually the first one there.

Proves that you don’t have to be a mean spirited cynic to be funny. You just need a quirky smirk and a great joke about Brittany not wearing underwear.

I appreciate and owe her a lot. And by owe I think I owe her thirty bucks since I’ve had accounting issues on the boat. But since the money gave me peace of mind