Sullivan interview part three

So here is the third part of the natalie sullivan interview. With any luck tommorrow being my last day in America for awhile I might be able to get a bunch of pictures up. But for now more weird and dense writing. read at your peril...of boredom


Tabetha my roommate, my friend has just come in with a sub-machine gun and she’s pointing it at me.

P: Tabetha look this is just a hiccup.

T: Pierre, we shouldn’t even be having this conversation. Bogart just called me about the Borgnine snafu. We are not here to kill just anybody, just who we’re assigned to kill. I swear you’ll pay for this, the next running order you’re in Sing It.

P: I didn’t kill Borgnine. Sullivan did.

T: You wouldn’t even be down here if you hadn’t insisted on the interview! I told you I could take care of her.

P: Like you took care of the bankers in Aruba? Gregg is still pissed about the mess you made there.

I wince as Tabetha gives Fluet a round house kick to the face. She’s on him like a cat. The sub-machine gun is inserted so deftly and quickly into his mouth, that Fluet is still trying to talk without realizing his brains are about to be splattered all over the floor. I can’t move, all I can do is write. I think Tabetha is going to kill me, next.

T: Shut you’re fucking mouth, filth. You don’t have the right to even say his name. You just call him sir, like the rest of us.

N: Gregg is in charge? He seemed so nice.

T: He is nice.

JAMES: No, he’s not. He’s a monster like the rest of us. Get the gun out of Pierre’s mouth, Tab. Now!

James has just walked in. He looks like he has been crying for the last four hours. He has a gun trained on Tabetha. Tabetha reluctantly pulls the gun out of Fluet (Pierre’s?) mouth and steps back.

P: Thank you James. At least someone’s programming is working properly. Now James take the gun from Tabetha and we’ll hash this out.

J: Go to hell.

My best friend, my sweet baby James has just kicked Fluet in the mouth. Fluet is making his patented out of control vomiting noises, except now he is vomiting up blood. James will not stop kicking him in the stomach.

J: You turned me into this you son of a bitch. I’ve killed ten people over this cruise, innocent fucking people man.

P: None of them we’re innocent. And I didn’t make you this James you chose this.

J: I just wanted to see the world. I wanted to get out of Ontario.

P: He’s from Ontario. Right. That’s right. I remember now.

T: This is exactly why Gonzalez Arrives is a mistake. Theses soldiers can’t keep their shit together.

P: No, Gonzalez Arrives works! We’ll just have to continue their education a little longer. This is precisely why new members of Gonzalez Arrives are placed with more senior members. Gregg agrees with me, you know he does.

N: Who else needs their education continued? Katy is a part of this too?

J: No, Natalie. It’s you. You’re part of Gonzalez Arrives.

P: You always have been.

No, no, no. It isn’t true. I’m not part of Gonzalez Arrives. I’m not a killer. Or am I. Visions flashing in front of my eyes. A congressman in Bar Harbor. Chinese Triads in St. John. The four people drowned in the caves in Belize. My name is Natalie Sullivan my parents traveled all over the world. We spent many years in Toronto. Is that right? That can’t be right. Can it? I’m a member of Comedy Sportz Chicago! (Toronto) I did long form at improv Olympic. I was approached by a Canadian official after doing a Harold at a Horton’s donuts. I don’t say a-boot. A-boot. That was the bit James and I were doing, we were pretending what it would be like if we were Canadian and somehow we ended up being our actual selves for the first time in years. We were part of Gonzalez Arrives, we were recruits together, lovers for a time, and then finally settling into a deep friendship. We took care of each other when the program got tough on both of us. We wanted to bring glory to Canada, we thought we could be killers maybe we were wrong. Or worse. What if we were right? I don’t remember it all. Do I remember enjoying the killing. We met Fluet there years ago. So fucking cocky and smug talking about the rep he had in LA. How high up he was in the organization he fucking practically took responsibility for creating the whole program. Well if he wants to take responsibility for it, he can have it because I’m going to fucking kill him.

T: Why does she keep writing?

P: Something caused a glitch in her programming. In both of them actually.

I nearly killed Fluet. I could feel his life slipping away from between my fingers clenched around his throat. James kept Tabetha covered. Although I think Tabetha wanted me to go through with it. Then the next thing I knew James was on the ground unconscious, and our music director Katy had thrown me against the wall and then knocked me out cold with a right hook forged in hell. Katy is currently standing on my neck and yet I keep writing.

KATY: We need to get back up there. The mirrors will get suspicious soon.

Mirrors?

T: Well we can’t send these two back up there. There programming is obviously not working.

P: It’s a fucking glitch. It happens. It’s like when I stop drinking diet coke and smoking. There is a breakdown in the wall between personalities. We’ll figure out what caused it and correct it. They are the best products that black ops or improv have ever produced! Lets get a game of Fred Schneider going it should reboot them. Silly warm ups seem to have a powerful effect on Natalie.

K: WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR FRED SCHNEIDER! JUST HAVE THEM DO UNIQUE NEW YORK. THE MIRRORS WILL START GETTING SUSPICIOUS.
N: Mirrors?

James’ eyes start to flutter open. We share a brief look, one of sad understanding. We might not get out of this.

N: How are you doing James?

J: (Weakly) Ontario.

He tries to do a fist pump. He can barely make a fist much less pump it. I need to save him.

N: Please let him go. I’ll do whatever you want.

K: I know you will bitch. Repeat after me you know New York, you need New York, you know you need unique New York. SAY IT!

N: You know New York, you need New York, you know you need unuck Noo Yak.

P: She’s not doing it right.

T: Gaswirth and Reuben are probably suspicious by know.

P: Reuben’s so smart he probably got suspicious as soon as we weren’t there for In the Mix.

N: What do Nick and Reuben have to do with this?

K: They’re our fucking mirrors, don’t you remember anything. Tab call Gregg see if we can waste these two.

N: Katy we’re friends.

K: Yeah, we are and I fucking love you Natalie but I’m not getting killed by those NSA fucks for you.

N:Rueben and Nick are NSA.

P: The Americans have become suspicious of us. They have created their own program of covert operatives to try and stop us. The NCL Production company are actually NSA,CIA and FBI operatives who went under a similar procedure to Gonzalez Arrives.

N: I wish Gonzalez would fucking depart.

P: If we were in a more public setting and not in the middle of this shit storm I might over react to that statement and leave the room. Anyway for each one of us they have to mirrors to stop us. You’re mirrors are Gaswirth and Katherine. Mine are Bree and Reuben. Reuben has come very close to stopping me on several occasions.

K: He’s so fucking smart, it’s like fucking scary. Like he’s a fucking psychic.

P: He didn’t get the role of IQ in Hairspray for nothing. Eventually before the crew ends our orders are to eliminate them. I assume their orders are the same.

N: I have to kill Nick and Katherine. I won’t.

P: You will.

K: Cut the fucking chatter lets get up to Majarini’s before they come down here and see us with our thumbs up our fucking asses.

P: I agree. Lets knock them out and try to persuade the mirrors they became overly intoxicated on libations.

SHAWN: I can hear you all the way from deck 5 poopsies. What’s going on.

N: Shawn drop you’re ice cream, you’re in danger none of them are who they say they are.

S: I got it covered.

He pulls Katy off my neck and gives my back a good scratching. He helps James to his feet.

J: Thanks man.

S: No problem. Lets go upstairs and sort this all out.

T: Fine. You two keep you’re mouths shut or I swear to god I will blow you’re faces off. I love you both but this mission is too important.

Tabetha holds up her semi threateningly she has taken her eyes off James. He cracks her in the head with his elbow, and then brings her head down into his knee. He confiscates the gun. Shawn just looks on bemused eating his ice cream. Katy raises her gun to James. James removes Katy from his sights, and instead shoots Fluet in the shoulder.

K: I can live with that.

J: We’re going upstairs, and we’re going to see security.

K: Like hell.

Her gun raises again. Her attention is finally diverted from me. I sweep her legs out from under her. She comes crashing down like a ton of bricks. I leap on her and smash her head into the floor. For some reason even after being brutally knocked out she looks so adorable. Something metallic whizzes by my face. James then howls in pain. The gun drops from his hand. Three shuriken have embedded themselves into his arm. The person who threw them is rising to his feet. Fluet looks enraged. He rushes James and tackles him.

P: I love you like a fucking brother and you fucking shoot me! Do you know who I am. Do you know my rep!

J: You’re rep ain’t shit. Pittsburg! I mean Ontario!

Peter has his thumbs embedded into James’ eyes. I grab Katy’s gun. I aim it at the back of Fluet’s head. It’s a huge target. An easy kill shot. Not like I haven’t killed before. Before I can pull the trigger though, Shawn gently takes the gun from my hand. I don’t know why but I trust him to put an end to this. Around him I feel at piece. He cracks the butt of the gun over Peter’s head. He rolls off James.

S: That’s enough bubbles. We’re done here.

P: I’m not done! I’m full of beans!

S: Do I need to go down on you?